so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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