she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
