I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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