Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
