I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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