i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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