Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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