My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
