O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
