420 ftw
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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