I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
