Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
