I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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