Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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