Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize