I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
