you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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