since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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