you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
