Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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