he was CRYING into my vagina
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
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It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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