she woke up with a sticky ear
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
