My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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