But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
