My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Randomize
