I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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