ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
