I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
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