5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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