At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
