Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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