there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
