Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
