idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
