if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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