PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
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Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize