guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
A bitchslap is in order.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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