did you get engaged???
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
