Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My dick has a subreddit
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
