Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I don't deserve a penis
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
