somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
