so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
