office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
