R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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