I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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