Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
