No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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