I got chris browned last night
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
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She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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