Ambien. No doubt about it.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
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You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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