Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
