Screwed.edu
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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