Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
