the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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