Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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