I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
