get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm always down for nudity.
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