i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
