He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dignity is for republicans.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
