the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
